HealthCare Resources Blog

The Reason We Keep Lots of Candles and Matches in Puerto Vallarta In Summer!

Posted in Grandchildren by Pam on May 24, 2010
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Spending quality time with my grandchildren is a high priority for me. Now that low season has rolled around, there are extra hours in the day to do just that! Walks, movies, playtime all add up to my thanking my blessings each day that my grandchildren live a mere 5 blocks from me here in Puerto Vallarta. Nicholas is 5 and Brianda is 2. Nicholas and I are movie buffs and go as often as we can. Taking Brianda is a challenge as her attention span isn’t as long as an entire movie, Disney or not – at least not yet. Nick and I were thrilled when we found out that Wall-E was in town already!

Slyly sneaking around the corner so Brianda could not see us go, Nicholas and I headed to Cinemark for an afternoon of movies and junk food. (I only felt a little bit guilty – but promised to pick her up on our way back so they could both spend the night at Grandma’s). Nicholas and I have this special mix that we love at the movies – you take a bite or two of popcorn, pop in an M & M and chew them together. Delicious! Three bags of M & M’s and large popcorn later, we left the theater, picked up Brianda and headed to my house.

Settling in for the evening, it was time to fix some dinner as Brianda kept saying “I’m hungry grandma” I want eggs!” Not being much of a chef, I please my grandchildren with eggs, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs and the like. A quesadilla now and then is thrown in for good measure. “Nicholas,” I asked, “What do you want?” “Nothing,” he says. “My stomach hurts a little.” He seemed ok, no fever, and I figured he’d want something after I concocted one of his favorites. As Brianda wolfed down the meal, Nick decided he needed to lie down on the couch, saying, “Grandma, my stomach really hurts. I just want water.” So a tall glass of water he had.

By now, the rain is coming in sheets; full-force and the lights begin to flicker. The thunder is booming, and I run to turn off the computer and unplug important electrical items. A flash of light fills the room and a resounding BOOM occurs as Brianda’s eyes nearly bug out of her head. At the same moment, the lights go off.  Nicholas’s only reaction is “Grandma, my stomach is hurting more.”

I light some candles in the living room, throw pillows on the floor as we gather together to watch the candle shadows on the walls and ceilings, surrounded by about 15 large stuffed animals (to comfort Brianda). I figure the lights will come on soon, the TV will come back on and all will be normal once again. Plus it’s beginning to get kind of hot and stuffy with no fans. Nicholas decides he’s more comfortable on my new sofa so he settles in.

About then two candles go out that are near the window, from the strong breeze and rain coming through. The next thing I know, Nicholas shouts “Grandma! I am going to vomit!” As well there is another BOOM, and Brianda begins to scream. Now, it is about 10 steps from the couch to the bathroom. Nicholas is erupting like Mt. St. Helen, and I can hear it splashing on the sofa (its leather!). Brianda has tripped and gotten tangled in the stuffed animals and I am attempting to steer Nick (in the dark) to the bathroom.

By the time we arrive, he is pointing in every direction except for the toilet and I can hear it splat on the walls, on the floor, on my feet. I try to push his head down over the toilet but he would not hear of it. “I WANT MY PAPA,” he says in between large belches and gushes. “GRANDMA! GRANDMA!” I can hear Brianda shouting as she finds her way to the bathroom, and then I hear her hit the floor as she has slipped in the vomit and slid about 4 feet towards the bathroom along the tile floor.

I am desperately trying to find some matches to light a candle in the bathroom. You’ve heard of “Dancing in the Dark?” Well it is now “Puking in the Dark”. The smell is wretched, of old popcorn and chocolate and Nicholas is beside himself with grief. My reaction is a very nervous, hysterical laughter which only causes the kids to think Grandma has truly lost it now! I tell Nicholas to squat down and NOT let go of that toilet for anything while I go rescue his sister.

By the light of the candles in the living room, I can see Brianda’s darling little satin Snow White Night Gown literally glued to her body with vomit. I manage to grab a piece of the nightgown, slide her in to the bathroom door, tell her to sit down and not move while I frantically try to light a vomit covered candle. This is not going to work! OK! NO ONE MOVE! I slosh my way to a candle in the living room, carry it in to the bathroom and see that Linda Blair from the Exorcist has visited my bathroom.

Suffice to say that we were eventually semi-clean (the electricity did not come back on till 3am!) Poor Nicholas made more than four trips to the unsanitary bathroom throughout the night. I gave him a small garbage can to use near the bed but for some reason, the kid finds it repulsive to barf in a bucket. It’s the walls, floor and surrounding area of the toilet – or nothing. At 11am the following morning I am thrilled to see my son come for the kids as I hand them over to him, with their ever-so-faint smell of Eau de Puke. Two hours later the smell of my house causes eyes to water from so much Clorox.

The linen closet is now clean and orderly having washed 10 bath towels, 12 washcloths, four sets of pajamas.

I have beautifully painted toenails having scrubbed with a toothbrush unknown particles out of the nail beds.

The bathroom is now fully stocked with candles, lighters and matches, all located in strategic and easy to reach places.

Oh, Nicholas is doing fine. We’ll be going to the movies again soon. But I think one bag of M & M’s and a medium popcorn should be enough from now on.

Note: This was written in mid-summer this year. My kids have since moved to San Sebastian but luckily I still see them every couple of weeks. We have since made many trips to the movies but for some reason, Nicholas still doesn’t want to do the M&M popcorn mix!


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